Hunger/Reboot

You guys! I may have figured out a way to get my life on (some sort of) track.

I recently read Hunger: A Memoir of (My) Body by Roxane Gay (excellent book, highly recommend reading it). She is very forward about her struggles with obesity and the events that drove her to seek comfort in food, but there’s so much more to be taken away from her story. It’s really about what she hungers for in life, the good things that she doesn’t feel like she deserves because of something terrible that happened in her past. While her life events are quite different from my own, I still felt a real connection to what she was saying; because of things I’ve done, things that have happened, and choices I’ve made, I don’t feel like I deserve the good things I hunger for, which is depressing.

sleepy cat
rebooting, please wait

I also followed along last year as Wil Wheaton did what he called a “life reboot” where he chose areas in his life that he felt needed improving.

So where do these things intersect? I figure maybe, just maybe, if I work on the areas of my life that I’m constantly telling myself I need to improve, maybe I can finally being to address those feelings of hunger, and start to feel like I do deserve good things.

So I sat myself down and came up with a list of things I wanted to change. Needless to say, it was SUPER long, so I decided to trim it down into a few categories that would encompass many, if not all, of the things I would like to address (and would it really be me if I didn’t make the list sound a bit vague and silly? Of course not). So here it is!

Heathers life reboot in six easy steps!

  • Move it move it
  • Clean my plate
  • Honey do
  • Write like a writer who writes
  • Mini mental vacations
  • Earn my explorer Badge

Move it move it: This one is pretty simple–I need to exercise more. I need to move my body before it starts to break down and not work. Before I hit a point of no return. I’ll probably end up varying what I do, but for the time being, I’m going to say I will go for a walk three days a week and do yoga five days a week. Seems like a safe place to start.

Clean my plate: By this I don’t mean I need to be a “clean plate commando.” I need to clean up what I’m eating. I need to cut back on the fast food and processed junk, eat more veggies, and do my best to eat three meals a day. I’m going to start this goal with increasing the amount of vegetables and fruits I eat on a daily basis.

Honey do: There’s plenty of things that need to be done around this house. Things that need to be gone through, projects I’ve had planned that have fallen to the wayside. I’m going to start kicking this list in the ass. Anytime I find myself sitting around thinking “eh, I’m bored,” I’m going to find something on this list that needs to be done and do it. Hoping to knock off at least one item a week.

Write like a writer who writes: I used to write a lot. I kept a journal nearly every day, I wrote letters, I wrote stories, all kinds of stuff. Lately the only thing I write on a regular basis are tweets. I’m making it a goal to write SOMETHING (tweets not included) every day. Whether it’s a post here, something personal I don’t want to share, or a short story/vignette that’s been floating around in my head, I’m going to write that shit down at least five times a week. Maybe I’ll even start a page for creative writing on here (no promises).

Mini mental vacations: I considered saying “meditate” but that’s just too rigid right now, though that is pretty much the end goal. I’m going to make time every day to clear the mental clutter and slow the racing thoughts and just focus on the here and now. I may do that through a guided meditation, or by focusing on an activity like knitting or cooking. Whatever way feels best to do it that day is how I’m going to practice being here now and not off somewhere in the la la land that is my imagination. I figure if I can do five minutes a day, that’s a good start.

Earn my explorer badge: This one sounds extremely ambiguous on purpose because it could really be anything. I want to go to some new places. I want to listen to new music. I want to try new food.  I may just take myself to a movie I want to see, or go wander around a book store. Mostly what I need is to get out of the house, but I’m leaving this as a space to explore, try and learn new things. I’m not going to put any rigid guides on this right now, I’m just going to wait and see how it unfolds.

So that’s my plan. I’ll check back in every month or so with a progress report. I’m hoping this will help hold me accountable so I actually follow through.

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