Watsky x Anxiety

“You’re officially welcome to grab your crotches, synchronize your watches and pour us a couple scotches.”

Back in August I hit a pretty rough patch. I was feeling really down, extremely antisocial. Basically I was in full blown “life is awful and I hate it and its never going to get better because I don’t know what to do with my life and what’s really the point anyway because I’m going to die alone oh my god make it stop” mode.

Hello, my superhero name is Heather the Extraordinary Eternal Pessimist.

I was basically just hanging around the house feeling miserable, eating lots of cookies and not much else, and spending a lot of time trolling around YouTube to try to keep my mind entertained and distracted. I came across a video from Elliott Morgan reacting to Watsky’s new album X Infinity. I’d heard of Watsky before because of his pale kid raps fast video that went super viral several years ago, but I’d never listened to his music because rap and hip hop aren’t my usual go to styles. But Elliott’s assertions about the music peaked my curiosity, so over to iTunes I hopped for a preview, which then led to me purchasing the album.

Then I got Cardboard Castles. Then I got All You Can Do. Then I got Watsky, because god damn, this kid is a fucking lyrical genius if I’ve ever heard one. Plus the music is varied and fun, not at all sounding like the usual rap/hip hop suspects. Then I found out he’d written a book of essays called How to Ruin Everything so I got that and tore right through it. His stuff was enough to keep me occupied and distracted from my miserable reality, which at the time, I really needed.

Now that I had most of his music, and read his book, the next logical step would be to go to his upcoming concert, right? I mentioned something about it to my son who made the comment of “I don’t think that’s your scene” which, well, I couldn’t really deny. I felt dissuaded. Still, I couldn’t shake the feeling that the only way out of my current rut was to do something out of the ordinary. Something I wouldn’t normally do, so the day before the show I hopped online thinking “scene be damned, I’m going to this concert, even if I have to go by myself which is going to probably lead to a great deal of anxiety because I don’t do downtown Orlando with other people much less by myself holy crap I just bought this ticket so now I have to go oh my god.” (my anxious brain likes run on sentences, and a good twitter storm). Day of the show I had a good twitter panic, but got support from some really awesome people who basically told me to go to the damn show and have fun.

So on September 11, I went to a rap concert that was full of mostly college aged kids, and do you know what? I had a fantastic time. I had a few overpriced beers, jumped around and waved my hands in the air.

Kinda wish I’d taken better pictures but I didn’t want to spend the entire show watching through my tiny glowing screen

After the show I ran into one of my sons coworkers who had been at the show (you would think that would be awkward, right?) and hung around and waited to meet the Watsky man himself (because I apparently I am a 15-year-old fangirl on the inside, and I really wanted to tell him I enjoyed his book, OK?). While I was waiting I realized that a couple of people I know internet-wise had been at the show as well so I wasn’t the only “older” person there (score). Talked to a couple of kids (I say kids but they were in their early 20’s) about music, movies, comics, Pokemon and sports while I waited. There were a lot of people hanging around, and I felt a little dumb waiting, but I’m glad I did.

The next day my throat hurt and my calves were achy, but I’d say it was all worth it. I’d do it again, as long as my social anxiety lets me.

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