The house organization/purge/clean-up continues. I’m making progress, even if it is slow progress.
I remember hearing my mom and grandmother mention “the dolls” from time to time, especially when they were talking about storage and space. There seemed to be great concern and reverence for these dolls. I don’t recall ever being shown dolls when I was a child, so there was this kind of air of mystery surrounding them. I wasn’t even sure where they were to be honest.
I imagined they must be antique dolls, rare and beautiful, so imagine my excitement when I was cleaning out a cabinet and finally came across some dolls! I literally gasped with excitement, and quickly started to place them all in a box so that I could look at them later, research them, find out what was so important about these dolls.
The doll that ended up in the top of the box isn’t that impressive. Her hair is messy, doesn’t look that special, so I’ve hesitated to go through them. Well, I’m sick of all the crap stacking up in the living room, so I started looking into the dolls, hoping that deeper into the stack I would find something special. Not so much. Aside from having porcelain heads, they’re just dolls, and some of them are frankly just a bit creepy. I’ve been trying to do some research, and what I can find, these aren’t all that rare. Sure, some people are selling them on eBay for a nice price, but that doesn’t mean they are actually moving them at that price, especially with the numbers that are out there. But still, these are the elusive dolls! How exciting! They deserve respect because they were so loved.
Then today, it occurred to me–I’m not the one who loved them, bought them, or cared about them (then stuffed them away in a cabinet and never looked at them). It was the people that I loved most that loved those dolls, or coveted those dolls, or whatever. Those people are gone, and the dolls, or any money I could get from them, is not going to bring them back. Its not going to tell me where these dolls came from, the memories that they hold. These dolls can’t talk (thank goodness), and nothing that they do are going to bring back my loved ones to tell me those stories. The best thing I have of my mom, my grandmother, grandfather and dad, are the memories in my heart. That’s what’s going to keep them alive and with me, not some random dolls, or 34 freaking sake/tea cups (don’t even get me started).
I know to be happy, to make those around me happy, I want this house to be clean, uncluttered, and inviting! Its time to make the most of what I have now, and what’s ahead. I need to stop worrying about upsetting my mother or grandmother and just let stuff go. If that means donating something that could be valuable, so be it. Sure, the money would be super useful, but there’s no guarantee I’ll get much for any of it. The here and now and the people that I love and live with are what matter to me, along their happiness and sanity. I’ve never seen Frozen, but the title of that song everyone knows sure is resonating with me now.
Love and light, people. Enjoy the moment, the people you choose to surround yourself with, and enjoy the new moon tonight! New moons mean the beginning of something, so make something happen!