Christmas eve

Wow, I can’t believe I haven’t posted since August. Things went really south for me in the beginning of September. I was hurt and embarrassed and guess I just wanted to hold it all in.

So its 3:13am on Christmas eve. I can hear Zach in the other room talking in his google hangout. He’s gone so far in the past few months. He’s working for a website that gets him media credentials to Magic games, then he writes reviews. This is what he wants to do with his life so I am super proud of him and happy for him. He has one more semester at community  college before he moves on to the “big leagues.”

So its 3:17am on Christmas eve and its 72 degrees. Ugh. I hate Florida. We barely had a fall, and winter has been scarce, obviously. Its supposed to cool down for Christmas and New Years eve at least.

Jon broke up with me. I miss him terribly. We’re still in touch as friends and are possibly doing New Years eve together. That’s a lot of the reason I haven’t posted, because I feel like such a loser for getting dumped. It was over my emotions, which have gotten the better of me this year. I think possible having never properly grieved for my mother has something to do with it. Plus he doesn’t like my drinking, which has quadrupled since we broke up. Go figure, right? I don’t feel like he’s ever been completely straight with me when it comes to how he feels about me. He said he loved me, but he just walked away and didn’t talk to me for nearly a month. What am I supposed to think? I feel like it was a lie, and he never really loved me.

Enough of my pathetic ramblings. I hope those of you reading have a wonderful Christmas and a happy new year! Here’s to hoping I can make 2014 a positive year.

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2 thoughts on “Christmas eve

  1. Oh, Heather – I am so sorry about that! Not that you’ve asked, but my advice to you is to get well on the inside before you let anyone else get close to you. And be nice to yourself as you get to the happy place you deserve. I wish you a new year of happiness and love 🙂

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