What, less than a day and a half and then its June? Of course June means summer. Not a big fan of Florida summers. The pool is useable this year, but I don’t have a bathing suit that fits well, and womens suits are SO expensive. At least what I like is (two piece with a swim skirt/trunks and tankini top, usually both having to be bought separately). And if I have anything to do with it, this would be the only summer I would fit in it. Oh, and if you are wondering, “is she actually that self-conscious that she cares what her bathing suit looks like that she wears in her private back yard?” YES, I am.
Last week was just a one bad thing after another kind of week. There was some algae in the pool, so I called my pool guy/friend. It was worse than I thought, but he did clear it up for me. I got my back adjusted and was supposed to take it easy, but that night the light bulb in my bathroom ceiling exploded, and I ended up hunched over vacuuming up tiny shards of glass, aggravating my back again. Then the next night we had a plumbing problem which led to plunging, and more work my back didn’t need. Ended up calling Roto Rooter, so I spent a lot more money than intended last week, leaving the end of the month in a real pinch. Plus, my dad, who was drunk at the time, decided to help Zach with some yard work on Sunday and fell in the yard and hurt his arm. He’s so weak and fragile, and he’s only 66. Its really hard to watch.
I’ve still been really rough around the edges emotionally. I cry at nothing, have a panic attack when someone walks up behind me and says something, and I feel anger and frustration at nothing specific. I was so tense last night that it hurt my shoulders when I lifted my hands above my head to shampoo my hair. I think I’ve lost some weight because I haven’t had much of an appetite. Not the way to do it but I’ll take what I can get. I’ve been withdrawn from everyone this week. I haven’t seen Jon since Tuesday morning. He’s got a project to finish for his class and I don’t want to get in his way. Plus, I just feel like being alone. One of these days I’ll get a good nights sleep, and hopefully soon I’ll snap out of this funk. Until then I feel better off isolated.