my brain is on crack

Or something at least. It won’t settle down enough for me to fall asleep. I’ve tried every trick that I know, but nothing helps. So I figured I might as well change what I’m doing because that would definitely make me fall asleep. Not working so far.

The Christmas tree tried to take a nosedive again. Now its leaning backwards, and it doesn’t look so bad. I’ve never had such a fit with a tree. I never baked cookies, never got around to my Christmas cards (why can’t they make New Years cards?). I’m just chalking this holiday season up to the blahs. There’s too many of them. Plus I ended up with bronchitis and spent a deal of time huddled in bed. I’m so tired most of the time lately. I’ve got to do something about it.

I am looking forward to Christmas. I’ll be getting some surprises this year. Can’t remember the last time that happened. There happens to be a Tiffany blue box under the tree for me, too! What girl wouldn’t get excited about that? I’m going to try to post some pictures later, or on Christmas eve, but if I don’t, I wish you all a Merry Christmas!

Christmas spirit?

I can’t say that I’ve found myself in the Christmas spirit this year. The weather sucks. I haven’t been feeling well. Things just aren’t going smoothly. I haven’t done cards, I haven’t baked any cookies. I just can’t seem to get things done.

I was out on Friday night and got a text from Zach that we had a major problem–the Christmas tree had fallen down. Luckily only four ornaments broke, but what a pain. Two of Zach’s friends came over to help fix it yesterday. Its currently tied to two cinder blocks to keep it from falling. Its a redneck Christmas y’all! At least the blocks are hidden behind the tree. I had to redecorate it after that. I got no pleasure out of it. It felt like a chore. Well, I guess it really was. You don’t expect your tree to fall and need to be redecorated.

My shopping is pretty much done and wrapped. I’d still like to go to the mall just because. Maybe the mall all decorated for Christmas would cheer me up. Zach’s already been half a dozen times on his own. I was planning on going tomorrow but now I need to try to go to the doctor. I’ve had chest congestion for about a month now and its just not going away, its getting worse. If I had insurance I would have gone to the emergency room today because I could barely breathe.

I hope things are going better for you guys. I hope you’re enjoying your holiday season.

December remember

Well, I’ve gotten all of the decorating done. Now it comes down to finishing shopping, wrapping presents, and doing my Christmas cards. If only I felt like doing something. Sunday’s are always a blah day, I guess.

Really though, they’re all blah days. I know its because deep down I miss my mom so bad. The holidays without her are hard. She wasn’t home for them last year either because she was in the rehab center. I should have brought her home for Christmas. I just should have insisted on it. I didn’t know it was going to be the last one we’d have with her alive.

On top of emotional stress, I haven’t been feeling that well physically either. I’ve been so congested I’ve become a mouth breather. That makes sleep even more difficult. Plus I’ve been waking up at some point so wheezy and having trouble breathing that I have to use my inhaler.

Zach only has a two more weeks of classes. It seems like he just started the semester. He’s already registered for classes for spring. His financial aid finally came in, and they gave it to him in the form of a debit card, so he’s been doing his Christmas shopping. He went out on Black Friday. I never do that-crowds are too big for my liking.

Hope your holiday seasons are off to a good start.