empty

The past few days are a bit of a blur. I’ve actually gotten some sleep, as long as I leave the tv on, but I’m still feeling pretty drained.

Yesterday I made final arrangements for my mom. The price is absolutely insane. She’d chosen cremation, so I didn’t have to pay the entire burial fee at once, and couldn’t do it anyway. However, she can’t be placed until its paid in full. So I can’t really lay her to rest for a while. We won’t be having a funeral either because of cost and lack of family.

Her death notice was in the paper today. Rather surreal. Its not a full obituary, though. I can’t believe how much they charge for those. I can’t believe how much is charged for all of it! I can’t imagine how it would have been had she had a traditional burial. I’m going to pre-pay for mine so all of the cost doesn’t fall on Zach.

I’m feeling sad and lonely these past few days. I expect that will continue for a while.

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3 thoughts on “empty

  1. I’m sorry you’re going thru this. The costs are insane & it’s so difficult on those left behind. It’s been 2 years (Monday) since my Mom passed. You’re not alone. Know that. Hugs.

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  2. You’re right, the costs are mad-crazy. You don’t have to bury her, you know. You could buy a pretty container and have her ashes placed in it and store them until you decide where you think she’d like to be. I prepaid my own cremation arrangements at the lowest cost available (about $2,500) with no burial by the funeral home. My family will sprinkle my remains on our farm.
    You have choices. And you don’t have to tell the funeral home your plans for the ashes – it is illegal to dispose of ashes in some fashions so it is better to let the people who might report you think she’s going to sit in an urn on the mantle.
    As you go through this process, remember that you don’t have to be perfect, polite or rational. People you’re dealing with understand, especially the funeral home people, and they don’t expect “normal” from you.
    My thoughts are with you.

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  3. I’m glad you finally got some sleep. It’s a long road, I’m afraid, but just take it day by day.

    I hope someday my daughter grows up to be as amazing as a daughter as you are to your parents. Your mother must have been so proud of you.

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