I need to clean out my closet. Its a mess and I can hardly get in it let alone find the shoes I want. I just keep stuffing more things in there, wishing it would organize itself. Its a lot like my life. I keep getting into situations and hoping they come out all shiny and happy. Then when it doesn’t go my way, I get upset and fall apart, leaving me a mess.
I know how to clean out my closet. I know how to organize and make decisions about what to keep and what to give away, but life’s not that easy. How do you evaluate your life and decide what parts need cleaning and what parts need to not be so prominent. What should I not be worrying about right now, what do I change? What do I really have control over? Sometimes I question if I have control over anything.
I’m not proud of my recent behavior, and I don’t really want to go into it. It makes me think I’m better off living the life of a hermit like I’ve been doing for so many years. Like today, aside from going to visit my mother, I’ve been in my room all day watching tv, going to the usual internet haunts, and cleaning up a bit. Just homebody stuff. Its been raining, and I feel cozy, despite my injured pride.
Anyway, I guess that’s all I have, since I’m not going into gritty details. Sometimes things need to be vague, but the big picture remains. I need to de-clutter my life.