Why yes, I have been to school, and I have held a job. I have an AA from Valencia Community College, and I went to Rollins College to work on a Bachelors in English. Never finished that Bachelors. I’ve thought about going back to school, but I haven’t been able to.
Job. Right now? Unfortunately not. I’m wrangled down on the home front with my mom being as ill as she is, and my dad not being much better. I help take care of them and take care of the house, they allow me free rent and a bit of spending money. Is it ideal? Is it where I want to be? No. But when I needed my family most, when I was 18-years-old with a newborn, they were there. Now its my turn to pay it back. Its a circle of life. I’m literally just circling with my life while I watch my parents throw theirs down the tube.
Tonight seems to be one of those nights where I just can’t fall asleep. I’m sure my evening nap didn’t help. I didn’t really mean to fall asleep. I was just cold and had a headache. Woke up in time for Hoarders though.
I can’t quite explain my attraction to that show. It can be really upsetting at times,like when they find dead animals in the house, and I thin HOW, just HOW can things get that bad? I don’t comprehend it. I mean, sure, there are things I would not to get rid of because they’re special to me, but every little thing? some of these people will say things like “oh, that’s the lint I picked out of my belly button the day my grandson was born. It reminds me of him. I can’t let get rid of it.” I mean, really?
I’m not poking fun. I know these people suffer from a mental disorder, and I know that sucks. I just don’t know how they can live in that filth and do anything that resembles functioning. I thrive best when things are neat, tidy, and clean. Granted, its not always perfect, but when it starts to bother me, things get cleaned up.
My mom has a little hoarder in her. She’ll hold onto things that normal people would throw away, and strange objects seem to capture her affection. When I was a kid I remember her have collections of things, and when I got older and wanted to get rid of things that were from my childhood and didn’t get used, she’d tell me I’d regret it and miss that item. Luckily, that didn’t stick to me, and I have no problem purging these days. In fact, I kind of enjoy it.
Apparently my mind is active tonight. No wonder I can’t sleep.